Here's a link to Jessica's Cupcake Cafe: Jessica's Cupcake Cafe
2.4 so bad it's bad
This is one muffin-upped game. I believe it has earned the lowest score in Casual Explosion history. May it never darken my door again.
Engineering: Mystery of the Ancient Clock, from Flashburn Studio, is the most wet pants, misspelled, papercut, boot in the back, hammer meets thumb, shin meets coffee table, defenestrative, bloodshot, noodle limp, three sheets to the wind (and the fourth one smeared with cow pats), goose-cracked, drywall-busting, incomprehensible, bear-porridged, teed off, driftwood, chin and gun, faceful of dirt, slimy-staired, kick in the dark, threadbare, inexcusable, and incomprehensible leaky spittoon of a Chuzzle clone as I've yet seen.
The story - all delivered in very badly-translated text dialogues - is as follows:
Once every 3000 years, for one night only, the stars in the sky align into an unimaginably large clockwork system of gears. On this special night, pieces of a machine known as the chronometer are strewn throughout the constellations. If someone can collect these pieces and construct the chronometer, that person will gain the ability to turn the very wheels of the universe, and the mysteries of the cosmos shall be theirs. Professor Richardson, with you as his assistant, has decided to set out across the planet on a quest for the pieces of the chronometer.
Hint for the translator: all the cool kids these days use the word "gears" instead of "toothed wheels."
Slide rows and columns to make groups of three or more similarly-colored gears. Some gears contain chronometer pieces - collect all of them for the level before the time limit expires and you've won. New gears drop in from the top to replace the groups you've removed, sometimes creating chain-reaction matches. Powerups, such as time bonuses, bombs, score multipliers, etc. are of course present. As are obstacles like locked gears... whose rows and columns cannot be slid.
If you can somehow manage to create enough three second (or less) matches in a row (I wasn't able to), you'll light up three bonus lightbulbs at the left of the screen and the remaining pieces of the chronometer for the current level will be added to the board.
Between levels you'll be treated to the most uninspired minigame since Doubleclick the Dinosaur. Chronometer parts fly across the screen and you must click on them. The more you catch, the higher your score.
How a game this split-hooved, squish-socked, turtle-gnawed, sour-balled, gut-emptied, yokel-slopped, drain-clogged, ape-faced, stink-blown, story-challenged, grammar-chafed, and deplorably brain-fuddled made it onto any casual game portal is a mystery. Engineering: Mystery of the Ancient Clock is an embarassment to western civilization.
Download Engineering: Mystery of the Ancient Clock